The Single Spark with Chantelle the Coach (previously The Single Girl's Guide to Life)

If MrBeast Is More Unhappy Than Happy, What Hope Do the Rest of Us Have? | Ep 123

• Chantelle the Coach

Share episode

We’re always told that success = happiness. 

More money, more freedom, more security… right? 

But what if that’s not actually true?

In this episode, we dive into a shocking revelation from YouTube giant MrBeast, who admitted on Diary of a CEO that he feels more unhappy than happy - despite having a billion-dollar empire, insane levels of success, and even a recent engagement. 

If someone who seemingly has it all still struggles with happiness, what does that mean for the rest of us?

So today, I'm exploring:
💭 The myth that success guarantees happiness
💰 Why money and achievement don’t always lead to fulfillment
⚠️ The dangers of comparing ourselves to people who "have it all"
🏠 The pressure of financial security and why it’s not the magic fix
💕 What actually brings long-term happiness (hint: it’s not in your bank account)

Plus, I’m sharing a recent trip that reminded me how real joy often comes from the simplest moments - ones we can access no matter where we are in life.

This episode will make you rethink what happiness really looks like, especially when it comes to love, relationships, and self-worth.

-----

RESOURCES:

- Download my FREE Dating Non-Negotiables Guide

- Visit my website: www.chantellethecoach.com

- Follow me on Instagram: @ChantelleTheCoach

- Follow me on TikTok: @ChantelleTheCoach

And if you loved this episode, HIT SUBSCRIBE to stay up to date for your weekly dose of The Single Spark.

-----
Music from Ep 110 onwards by Kadien Music. Get your own podcast music here!
------

life coaching for singles, how to be okay on you're own, overcoming loneliness, how to stop feeling lonely, single women, divorced in your 20s

-----

DISCLAIMER: The podcast and content posted by Chantelle The Coach is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. The use of information on this podcast or materials linked from this podcast or website is at the user’s own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions.

Speaker 1:

Welcome back to the Single Spark Now. This week I want to talk about the concept of happiness, and this came to my mind because I was listening to a Diary of a CEO episode. I haven't listened to it in ages. I've told you previously that I've I feel like I've graduated off of it. I've had this a few times with podcasts before, and some of you have probably graduated off of me as well and the ones that are here. Thanks for still being here, or thanks for being here, despite the evolution that people have gone through. You are the next, you're the next. What do we call it? Cohort of people to listen that need this? Of course, because when I first started this podcast four years ago, not everyone that's single then is single now, myself included. So you might have found yourself in a relationship, you might find yourself married, and so you're here because you're looking for something that's going to help you with the concept of single life, and I've obviously expanded it a bit because we're not just talking about single life, but this podcast. It brought me back.

Speaker 1:

I kept seeing a lot, a lot, a lot of little trailers for it, which, which is classic. That's what a trailer does, and I'm not in any way swayed by MrBeast. I obviously know of his achievements, know that he is the biggest YouTuber we have around, I know that a bunch of kids absolutely adore him, but I don't know so much about him. I've very rarely consumed his content except for, more recently, the beast games more, because it's basically the squid games, but with no deaths included, of course. And then obviously as a result of that, things have popped up and he smashed a ton of world records to the point that it felt like they'd made up records to be smashed just for him. Like it's like they're just some of the categories that existed. You were like, oh, does that exist or has that just existed? Now that he's done it, it was a bit weird, but on the episode, in at least part of it, it's definitely on the trailer.

Speaker 1:

I'm sure I've heard the bit where he's talking about it as well. Where he talks, he's asked by Steve Bartlett, are you happy? And Mr Beast replies more unhappy than I am happy. And that really struck me, because we have this tendency in society to believe that someone that is as successful as that should be happy. Look at it, he has an empire, an absolute empire in terms of money. He has this group of people that work incredibly hard with him on his project and they work together intensely to achieve what he has achieved. He gets to do what he loves because that's why he's continued to do it, by his own acclaim, every single day.

Speaker 1:

So in what world is this guy at all unhappy? How can it be? He's got the friendship, he's got the, the admiration, he's got the success, he's got the money, he's got the wealth, he's got the legacy. He can do what he wants. He can literally. He doesn't have to think about any kind of monetary elements, like he does not have to worry. And so how can it be that someone like that that has all of those things, then answer the question that I'm probably more unhappy than I am happy?

Speaker 1:

And it's this kind of thing that I wanted to bring up, because we can have this obsession with where we are in life. We can sit and compare ourselves to the wonders that are Mr Beast, and even if you go, it's not Mr Beast. I mean Mr Beast is one of a kind. He's been working on it since he was 11, 12, kind of zone, and he's 26 now. You know as much as he's young. He has had years in this industry, much to your dismay, probably so. At the time we were all studying and having a great time at uni. He was tapping away trying to make YouTube videos even better than they already were, and he does enjoy what he does, but there's an element to it and a side to it and there's something to it that doesn't make him happy.

Speaker 1:

It can often be seen that we compare ourselves to these big figures or just those figures in front of us, and you never really truly know what can make you happy. There's that stat that goes about that says you know, you only need to earn £70,000. And after that the money doesn't make a difference, and I mean it's probably slightly more now because that number's based on something you know, a price, a value from a fair few number of years ago. So inflation needs to go up. But it goes to show that these material things aren't happiness, because this is not just Mr Beast. We've seen this in. We have seen this time and time and time again with celebrities. We've seen it happen. Where they have these successes, they have these wonderful experiences, whether they're in television shows, film, music, whatever it might be. Yet they turn to other alternatives to try to be happy and we've only got a look at the case of someone like Liam Payne, who I would be speculating about in terms of what I thought, but we know he had difficulties with substance abuse, alcohol, drugs.

Speaker 1:

There have been reports of other elements that you would use to be happy and despite that, despite the success that they had as One Direction, as much as that needed to come to an end, as much as any experience, you know them just splitting up, them growing older, had a child and, yes, split from the mum of that child, but had that child, and my understanding from my reports was that it was not like a a bad, it was amicable, he saw him. There are these things that trouble people, despite what they have, and having is thinking that having is going to solve your problems, whether it's having money, having a relationship, having a house. There are things that they can reduce the symptoms of. But if you can't find this internal happiness, it will only be temporary, it'll only be there for a bit, and I am speaking on my interpretation of the likes of Mr Beast and Liam and Liam Payne, for example, in that I think when it came to Mr Beast, my first instinct was like it's because he's chasing.

Speaker 1:

He's having to chase and beat nothing. There is no one even remotely close to what he's doing. So he's at the top. He doesn't have anyone but to beat but himself, which is what we always focus on doing. But his top is now huge. He has a a humongous fall to make. If he falls, you know that's. You're high up. You even got to have a video not do that. Well, you know it can just do good, which is good by anybody else's standards, but compared to how you've been performing, it is not incredibly amazing because of the hundreds, not even hundreds millions of views and downloads and clicks and everything that that brings. If your video only again gets hundreds of thousands, it's not there, it doesn't meet it and he's stuck in that.

Speaker 1:

And within that same podcast episode he says like my mental health has to take a backseat, my mental health has to be second to this, which I think he knows. But I don't think that means he stops doing it. But to me I'd have to be the other way around. I cannot do something so intensely, no matter what the level of success, if my mental health as a result is being bad impacted in such a way and I am not Mr Beast, but that's why I quit my job and I didn't have like severe mental health issues at all, but what I found was that I wasn't loving what I was doing in the format I was doing in it.

Speaker 1:

The school scenario had too many constraints. I wanted to be working in a team of incredible people and he mentions this too and I felt like I was working with some incredible people but being brought down by a bunch of people that couldn't care less. And even on the podcast, mr Beast doesn't cite this as an issue with why he's unhappy, but he does say like I want to work with great people and I can't work with great people. I can't not work with great people. They bring you down. The C players bring you down and they're obvious, but the B players are the ones that are kind of good enough, but they just they don't motivate and they're not there, and that can bring the A team, the people that want to be doing stuff, down. And that's how it felt.

Speaker 1:

It felt like, yeah, cool, I'm earning a fine amount of money. I like, yeah, cool, I'm earning a fine amount of money, I can live on this. It certainly pays for my bills, I don't have to worry about anything. I'm not getting anything from this. I love a couple of people I work with, but really I don't want to be showing up every day doing four lessons of the same thing that I've taught like a hundred times over. I'm bored for one. Yes, I can do more things and keep doing, but it's a bit boring to do on your own or just with one person and and then it doesn't feel like it was like a personal project, not a school-led project, and I just felt like I had a lot to do.

Speaker 1:

That was the other thing. You know, that thing where you're good at stuff, stuff, and then other people aren't good at stuff, and then they take the stuff away from the people that can't do and give it to the people that can do, and I'm like we're still paying them the same amount, aren't you like? They're still here getting their wage with what they were meant to be doing, but because they couldn't, you've given it to me who can, thus increasing my like hours, reducing capacity to like breathe. No, thank you. No, thank you. I'll leave it. It's okay, like I don't mind being good, I don't mind having more on, but I just don't always feel like you're fairly compensated for that in particularly in salaried situations, especially in schools. It's it just, it feels like it gets lumbered onto you with no real acknowledgement.

Speaker 1:

And so, in order to kind of tackle this first, I wanted to bring that to your attention, that this whole idea and I probably bring it back to for some of you it's thinking like I'll be happier when I'm in a relationship, and I've done it too I've thought if I just and it's just plasters, it's sticking plasters over what happiness really means, I made this error and I've chased various things that weren't for me. It's how I think I got in the scenario that I was in by the time I was 26, 27. Like, oh God, I'm here, I've done what you said would make us all happy and, yeah sure, the blueprint had worked for a number of people. It still does for some people. It worked for a number of people. It still does for some people. It worked for a number of years.

Speaker 1:

But the problem is people are trying to use that blueprint now that are like in their late teens, you know, early adulthood, and it totally isn't working, really not working, because life has changed so much since then. We are going to see a generation of people who cannot buy their own homes. So the previous model was do well at work, keep getting your job, buy a house, etc. Right, but what happens when you tell them to do all that hard work and there's no reward of being able to own your own house at the end? This whole concept of everything's going to be owned and we're just going to be renting and you're not going to own anything and you're going to be happier, freaks me out, man.

Speaker 1:

I don't know what that even means. I can't go into much detail because I don't understand enough about it myself. All I keep hearing is those little rumblings of what that is and what that means, and I think I think we're in trouble. I think we're in deep trouble, and I'm not saying that this house is what defines my happiness. But I know that having this space a space to call my own, a space that is a sanctuary, it's a backup, no matter what it's here, so long as I keep paying the bills Like it, doesn't bring me happiness, but it brings me safety and comfort and that, to me, is really important, to the point that I would, where possible, I will avoid renting. Now I don't know how long that's going to go on for. If I could keep paying the bills here and the mortgage rates don't go, you know, insanely high, then sure, this will be the place that I live out my days and I'll always have it. But the idea of moving home, if I ever had to mate, I'm not doing it unless I can buy Absolutely not Now. Obviously, if I'm in a situation where I have no option, I have no option Because the rental situation is scary.

Speaker 1:

It's what the hell? It feels like it doesn't feel secure. It feels like you could have the rug ripped from out underneath under the carpet. What's the phrase? Anyway, you know, know, I'm talking about the whole concept of you know rent suddenly going up. That means you can't settle your life in one place in a way that you think I could be here for 10 years, but then the landlord, you know, ups the rent by 10 every year, wildly, let's go with, and that's just unfeasible because nothing else is going up at 10 apart from the cost of everything. Like, you can't rely on that, you can't plan forward, and that in itself then causes this uncertainty which feeds a lot of anxiety and worry and stress. So we have these things that we need to feel secure in the first place and then, once all of that is achieved and I do think that's harder if you're in some sort of rental or temporary accommodation of some situation, but after that the happiness level has to then change, the happiness dial and understanding.

Speaker 1:

Because I have only just got to a point where I'm nearing the same income that I had income, oh, but it's not even adjusted, it's it's, it's grow, not grow. I don't even know the words I've taken that but it hasn't offset my expenses because when you're self-employed you get to adjust it. So it's on paper, it's not even quite um, and we're not, we're not there. Anyway, we're getting, we're warming up. I've been on a very low income for the past few years, very low, being like is it less than the average, median average, mean, somewhere in the 20s, let's put it that way? Um, so it's been pretty low and that's been okay. I've lived, I've survived, I've just about got there. Uh, some of it's been because, you know, business-wise you put a lot of money that you do make back into the business. So in terms of generating money it has been more, but it's gone straight in. So my actual wage has been pretty low comparably. Now we're starting to move back up towards where it was, but that hasn't changed my happiness.

Speaker 1:

It does sometimes make me go. Oh, I can treat myself to a soft mocktail, as they called them, where we were the other day at Canary Wharf, instead of thinking I won't have a drink or I'll just have a coke, which sometimes costs just as much as an alcoholic drink. It feels like, um, I was like I'm gonna have a soft, soft mocktail cocktail and it was the most lovely, uh, pornstar martini with no alcohol in it. To my surprise, it literally tasted exactly the same, which tells me that I've always been right I can never taste alcohol when it's nice, and in a sweet, nice drink anyway. So what's the point?

Speaker 1:

But there's core things to me that we need to think about in terms of and these will be different for everyone what actually makes us happy. What actually is it that's making us happy? Because if it's not all these people with money saying it's not money to a certain degree, to a degree that you are out of the you know I need safety and security zone then what is it because? If mr beast isn't happy and he's got everything that he's got, and I think he's recently engaged as well and he's more unhappy than he is happy. What is it? And I think he's recently engaged as well and he's more unhappy than he is happy? What is it? Because he's got lots of scenarios that suggest he should be happy inverted commas. So if someone, if we went and did everything the same, or our versions of it, and we risked the fact that that wouldn't make us happy, then what's going to make us happy?

Speaker 1:

What is it that brings you true joy when you think of it? Now there's a mixture. There's the values I have and then there's these things that matter to me, like I really value connection in my life, connections in one of my values for a long time, and so I like meeting with friends and I like having good, deep connections with them. And what does that mean? It means that we can talk openly and freely and pretty non-judgmentally, that people are there for one another when they need to be and that the friendship isn't pressured in any way. You know, it's very easy. Some of my friends I see once a week, some of my friends I see more like once a month, every couple, but we keep in touch, we know what's going on. But alongside that something to me is experiences, having experiences together. So one of these friends I do see fairly regularly once, once a week, once a fortnight, something like that for you know know, an hour or two each time or so.

Speaker 1:

So nice, proper catch-up, not happy to just fill everyone in on what's been going on for the last six months, but something changed the other day significantly. Like we've done that for a long time now, like over a year, and it is lovely, we look forward to every week, it's great. But then just just recently we took the children when I say the children I mean Jason's children and her children to Adventure Island and I didn't realise how important that was to me until I did it, because I realised it wasn't that I just like to spend time with this person, it's that I wanted to share my life with this person, and not in a romantic way. But we often hold these things of sharing your life with the person that you love, that you end up in a relationship with, and of course I want to share experience with Jason, obviously. But actually I want to share more experiences with other people and so if I put myself in the shoes of Mr Beast, I would try to where possible and it may. I'm making lots of assumptions and lots of presumptions, but my focus on where my happiness would come from would be from in my values, and I probably, I think, what my I don't know what his values are at all I couldn't even pretend. I just mean what I would think of and what I would focus on is that I get to do something that is incredible, that that I do love subject to, like I don't. I wouldn't love making the videos that he makes, but if I was doing an equivalent like doing this, like my dream would be to do things like this with a team of people that care as much about these kinds of issues and those people be people that I absolutely do love care for, and we do it together as a group, as a a team Like that, to me, is the kind of thing, and it doesn't have to be work based, but the idea that, oh, like people that I've got kids with not that they're my kids, but people that have got kids can be brought together to go and do these activities.

Speaker 1:

Going to Adventure Island, it was weird because I felt like I hadn't even spoken to the kids at all at Adventure Island, which is so odd because normally it feels very intense being around the children. Yet because there were more children, they entertained themselves. It was fantastic. I, honestly, halfway through the day, or even longer, I went. I don't feel like I've spoken to the kids at all. My friend said to me I went no, you probably haven't, because we're talking, but they're all talking, you know. Know, they're having a good time, they're doing this, they're talking to one another, they're entertaining themselves and jason's kids are very good. Anyway, you know they're they're they're wonderful kids, very, very curious, lots of questions, always questions, which is fine. Don't always have the answers, but actually I was like, oh, my god, yeah, and we've been able to talk and I've been able to go on the big ride for once. Normally we don't always have time or we have to manage waiting around and like, what's it when it's just those two, as siblings, waiting around? They're good, they don't misbehave, they're great children, but even so, it's not fun, whereas the fact that they had somebody else to be around and they were playing with them whilst I went on the big ride wasn't a big thing, you know, and it's having these experiences.

Speaker 1:

I think the focus should be on where's the quality time you get with people and not just the superficial, not just the catch-ups with people where you literally have to give. It's almost like interviewing everyone, isn't it? You go around the table and everyone's like, oh, so what have you been doing? And you have to give and hear Like the version of your life for the last three to six months in 20 minutes if you're lucky, and for some people it's been great and it's been fun. It's, you know, light-hearted and exciting to hear. And other people have been going through really difficult times and that's very hard for them to bring up, to summarize in 20 minutes and to not feel like they're bringing the group down and that's not. It's really difficult. I would love in my life to have more of what I just described and you can probably tell from the body language, if you're watching this, the difference in how I talk about it, that I'm probably more closed when I was talking about that scenario of having to recall your life versus the expansive hand gestures that were coming out.

Speaker 1:

When I'm talking about experiences and yes, money can help with being able to do experiences, I mean we're very savvy with money where possible. Adventure Island is an absolute steal the children's tickets when I bought them were £20 for the year. They don't have as good a deal for that, but if you do have kids or if you know anyone that's got kids, if this goes out in time, I don't know if it will be available. But if you don't get it, this kids, if this goes out in time, I don't know if it will be available, but if you don't get it this year, watch out for it next year.

Speaker 1:

Adventure Island in Southend always do an annual pass. It's now £80, but their flash sale is £40. I'm not in any way endorsed by them, we just definitely go to this. We got the original ticket for £20. And I think we've now gone six or seven times. Every single time, I believe. Every single time. The soft play itself costs like six, seven quid. You know you add that up and it's free to enter. If you're an adult, you get to go on with kids that are under 120. So Azalea always has someone going on with her, so we don't always have to pay for one. But we both happen to have annual passes this time around. I don't know if we will in the future, if we'll just do pay per ride or something, but either way, absolute steal.

Speaker 1:

And then, when it came to food, we bought some snacks with us. Uh, because we were doing it for Rupert's birthday. Um, he had. They did have treats for food for once, but normally we'll just bring a pack lunch, um, and we head to the the seafront sometimes, go along there and do stuff, um, you know it, you can do things in a different way and, and I think the idea of like the difference in your 20s and 30s, I think and I haven't done it yet, I haven't achieved it but I think the emphasis should be on doing things with each other and, as kids have got, you know, come about bringing children on board a bit more difficult when you don't have a kid or child, to kind of contribute to that situation, I think, because the people with kids don't have a kid or child, to kind of contribute to that situation, I think, because the people with kids don't think you want to be involved with it, but make yourself involved with it and say let's go, I want to come to the zoo with you guys, or I want to go and do this.

Speaker 1:

I think another shift can very much be the, especially in current circumstances, that you don't have to go out for this anymore, that you can invite people around. Maybe you have invested in your home, maybe this is a safe place for you and you're lucky enough to have it, and if you are renting, you can still have made the place as beautiful and wonderful for you. But actually just invite people over, I don't do it. Uh, it is a very small, limited space, I will be honest, but I could definitely have one person over on their own, or one person and a baby do you know what I mean? Like they can come over, they can come and see you, and if this is a limitation ie it's an expense and thus you don't have lots of extra expenditure then to me, things like that are important.

Speaker 1:

Now, you may feel particular pulls to your parents or your family and you want to. That's what brings you may feel particular pulls to your parents or your family, and you want to. That's what brings you happiness. Then make it that. Make it that you're doing the roast and you're every. All of you are doing that roast dinner ritual on a sunday, but you take it in turns as to who does it.

Speaker 1:

I think we have to move past these statuses, these state I don't know what the plural is there and think if it's not money that makes people happy, if it's not having everything, then what is it that makes people happy? What is it that's going to make me happy? And you don't have to agree or say that you agree exactly with what I've said at all, that the definition of that happiness is for you and I appreciate that. I say that now as someone that's in a relationship. I get to have those experiences with someone dedicated and it's very easy to then go do you wanna do this? But you know he's got financial constraints too. Everything I wanna do is not so simple. So I have my own experience of that in the business and that's to me. That's another thing and I wonder if that would be the same kind of thing. Even though he doesn't see that as happiness, I do think that's probably where some of his happy comes about the challenge of it.

Speaker 1:

I love the challenge of entrepreneurship. I love the challenge of having to get better, of being pushed, of growing to a point I don't hold myself there. One thing I'm very good at is not comparing myself to other people. Competition wise, I'm competitive, but only with myself. So if I'm going to do a running competition 5k, 10k, half marathon like, yes, there's hundreds of people that are going to beat me. There's nothing. It will motivate me less if I pick someone out and say I've got to beat them.

Speaker 1:

The say I've got to beat them. The key is I've got to beat myself. And this comes from knowing yourself. It comes from knowing your values. It's one of the main exercises I've always done in the work that I've done with people, which is to know what matters to you, to know what really makes you happy. Because if we've got people out there who have it all saying that they are unhappy, then if you are working on the operation that, because you don't have it all, you'll be happy when you have it all, we are in deep trouble Because those ideas are going to be shattered the minute you inverted commas, get to having it all and realising it didn't make any difference in the first place. Let me know what you think of this. It's a big topic, it's interesting, it's got lots of ways you can look at it and everybody's going to think slightly differently about it. But drop me a DM or let me know in the Facebook group and until next time, keep sparkling.

People on this episode

Head Shot

Chantelle Dyson

Host